Sunday, January 3, 2010

Recipe for Sub-Zero Chores

  1. Think to self, "I really do have to go do chores."(insert sigh here)
  2. Drink large mug of hot coffee to fortify self
  3. Begin to add layers of clothing to protect self from cold
  4. Drink more hot coffee to further fortify self
  5. Add final layers of outerwear protect inner-layered self from deep cold
  6. Look thoughtfully at empty coffee pot and realize your self now has to go to the bathroom
  7. (insert deep sigh here)
  8. Begin to strip off layers to find overheating self buried within
  9. Take self to bathroom
  10. Start over with Step #1, skipping over Steps #2, 4, 6 & 8 if you ever hope to actually make it outside
  11. Fill buckets with hot water for livestock, spill some on self
  12. Slowly move self outdoors under the weight of hot water buckets to work through chores.
It seems somehow appropriate that this process works out to 12 steps.

And just in case you are from the south and are unfamiliar with how to dress when choring (yes, here in rural Iowa that is a word) during sub-zero temperatures, here's a hint...
If more than your eyes are visible, you wont last long!

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